`` J E A N

I hate it when I'm being so bitchy and emo, especially at such hour.

Guess I haven't changed much huh?

I've never really had much problems in getting friends presents. I either observe for months before the big day on what he/she likes or needs, or I just don't get them anything, till I'm sure of what to get. But usually I just hand-make something simple. Well, people usually like them (at least they look like they do) And I'd like to believe, it's not that hard to get me a present that I'll like too.

I don't ask much. As long as you remember to wish me, or maybe give me a hug and to spend some time with me, I'll be happy enough to stay at that state for a very long time. I dislike little hints and not getting it in the end. I hate disappointments. Like, tell me, who does?

I think I'm a very frank and straightforward person. I say I like something and it's usually obvious enough to be noticed, tho I know I sound like I like everything all the time. But isn't it even better? You get to pick one out of all those choices.

Or maybe you just want to make sure that I really like that thing before getting it, so that it won't go wasted. But I suggest that you be quick as you're not the only person who visits the store, ask earlier, and react faster. Cause I'm definitely going to be upset if I don't get it when I've already known what am I going to get.

And yes, I really was upset this morning. Part of me was blaming you for not asking and getting it weeks ago cause I know you know how much I loved it, and part of me was feeling so bitchy to even think so. I really shouldn't. I'm sorry for being so incapable of dealing with disappointments.

Also, I know this is a really f up way of telling you what's on my mind, maybe you won't even read it. But, I can't imagine myself telling you these stuff face to face. I'm afraid that I'd feel all cranky again and blurt words that I don't think anyone would want to listen. We all know how retarded I am when it comes to dealing with emotions. Urgh :(

I'm sorry.

I really don't want to hurt you nor our relationship, and I think that you deserve to know what's going on in my head. At least you'll have an idea of what to do next time.

Hmm.

Hope you don't get offended by whatever I said up there, and call me when you've read this, kay? (please please do T.T)

Thank you, and good night :)

Loves!